My Relationship with Ted Bundy

I’m involved in an abusive relationship with a dead man. Metaphorically-speaking, of course. I am constantly thinking about, imagining, and reading about a violent serial killer. His ice blue eyes and wavy brown hair call forth feelings of both compassion and revulsion. I am both drawn to and repelled from this handsome charmer, moonlighting as a bloodthirsty necrophile. Ambivalence lingers as I contemplate the dirty deeds of Theodore Robert Bundy, even twenty-eight years since his execution in Florida’s electric chair at age 42.

Bundy Smile.jpg
What a smile!

As if we were lovers, my thoughts often turn to him as I imagine the things we share in common. We both grew up in the Methodist church, were involved in scouting activities, and we were withdrawn and shy in high school. Despite being raised on the opposite sides of the country (he in Washington state and me in North Carolina), I’ve always felt a connection to Ted’s family upbringing and working class family. His mother clearly loved him, as did mine, and his siblings looked up to him.

As the eldest children in our families, we both understood the pressure placed on us. The first child always feels they’re treated as a guinea pig as their parents learn what boundaries to put on them. Parents always give only so much rope to test the waters in those early years. However, when Ted was sneaking out and peeping in his neighbor’s windows as a teenager, I was happily tucked in my bed at night. The thought of violence towards another individual couldn’t have been further away from my mind.

Conversely, the time I spend imagining how Bundy would have related to certain events and where he buried the still-missing bodies of so many women, it takes its toll on other relationships in my life. My husband notices when I seem far away and friends can tell when I’m less than involved in our conversations. Some people distance themselves when they hear about my interest in serial killers, and Bundy specifically. Explaining his acts of depravity and unsavory proclivities discourage some acquaintances from getting to know me better. Even when I am determined to envelope myself completely in social interactions, my mind drifts back to the memory of a certain cold stare in Ted’s interview with Dr. James Dobson.

Bundy Dobson
January 23, 1989: The day before his execution

Despite being averse to everything he did, including the political party he joined as a teenager, I am still drawn to the image of Bundy as a smart, driven law student with a quick wit and one-hundred watt smile. The relationship I have with this long deceased man is dysfunctional at best and morbid at worst, though I don’t see it ending any time soon. He will continue to haunt me through the years to come, and his words and deeds will hold me in his thrall.

13 thoughts on “My Relationship with Ted Bundy

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  1. Ive been interested in Ted Bundy for years because I’ve always felt that the people who interviewed him were not asking the right questions and teds words were very deceptive mixed with halve truths, lies always to the end of making Himself out to be less of a monster than he really was

    Many books have been published about Ted
    But I always suspected what he did to this women the real Ted the one who was compulsively driven to act out his particular fantasies over and over whatever they specifically were was taken to his grave until …

    Rohonda Staply came forward a Ted Bundy 1974 victim that survived through shear strength of character and some luck

    We now have a pretty good idea what he said as he strangled them how he subdued them and the terrorizing went on for hours, manually choking them out to the brink of death than letting them recover only to do it again numerous times ,Rohonda said that he did this at least 5 or 6 times
    Interestingly it was the opposite of what Ted had said in his interviews that killing them was not the prime motivation
    it was and he made it up close and personal

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment! I haven’t yet read Stapley’s book, but it will be interesting to see how she describes her ordeal, assuming it is true. I found Carol DaRonch’s details about her attempted kidnapping very insightful. We learned that Bundy was using a gun to subdue his victims when necessary. Stories from credible survivors really show us the killer’s motivation.

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  2. HI E.J, Thank you for sharing your feelings and emotions with sincerity, Ted Bundy is a taboo subject for many people especially for us as women who are aware of this very delicate subject.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your story and interests. Even though I wasn’t interested in criminal psychology in college, I have a degree in psychology. I’m constantly curious about what makes people “tick” – their backgrounds and such. Forensic science is also fascinating to me. I enjoy reading about investigations and manhunts.

      I recently watched the movie with Zac Efron. I couldn’t quite imagine Zac as Bundy; but whY a transformation. I came of age in the late 1980s. Ted Bundy was a name often read and heard. I wonder, did Ted genuinely love Liz and her daughter?

      I also recently read the book “American Predator”. As you may know, its about Israel Keyes. As I recall, he admired Ted Bundy. His laugh in the FBI and interigation footage made me think of much of the footage of Bundy’s interviews.

      I don’t have much if any common background with Keyes, but I was fascinated to read that he was in the U.S. Army, was a skilled infantryman and stationed at Ft. Hood Texas – where my dad was stationed in earlier years (before Keyes) and my son was in later years (after Keyes). It’s interesting and chilling to read about the double lives that Bundy, Keyes, and other serial killers have led. Keyes stated that he was “two different people”.

      P.s. I enjoyed your post about the five advances in forensic science related to the Bundy trial.

      P.p.s. Sometimes I read horror fiction because it’s not as scary, tragic, and sad as real world horrors.

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      1. Hi Kyle! Thanks for all of your kind words. As to your question about whether Bundy genuinely loved Liz, I don’t believe he was capable of loving anyone. Ted exhibited the classic signs of a psychopath, none of which include the ability to feel romantic or platonic love the way most of society experiences it. What Bundy valued in those who were unaware of his true feelings was what he could get out of them. Once he took everything they had to give, he moved on. Sadly, Liz wasn’t able to set relationship boundaries and Ted was constantly able to push her away and then reel her back in again, taking from her constantly. There was definitely no love on his end of things.

        I too have read “American Predator” about Israel Keyes. I must say that Keyes is one of the most frightening lust killers out there. He didn’t discriminate when it came to the type of victim he preferred, he was meticulous in the planning of his crimes, and he killed without mercy. Once he had you in his sights, your fate was sealed. Though Bundy was highly mobile, Keyes was even moreso. Speaking to his military service, it’s terrifying to think that Keyes had to have been killing while stationed in different places, much like Gary Ridgway would have been. I’m sure you have some insight into what their murder sprees would have been while they were enlisted.

        I’m glad you enjoyed my post about the 5 forensic firsts in Bundy history. Sometimes it’s nice to read bite-sized portions of information instead of investing in an entire article. I try to change things up to keep this site interesting for my readers.

        I don’t read a lot of horror fiction, though I completely understand what you mean about it being less tragic and sad than most real-world crimes. That said, I’m currently reading “Dracul” by Dacre Stoker and JD Barker, a horror fiction follow-up to Bram Stoker’s “Dracula.” It’s mystifying and thrilling while also chilling me to the bone. I’m happy that it’s only fiction!

        Thanks for your comment and feel free to reach out any time about Bundy or any other serial killer information you find exciting. I’m well-versed on most lust murderers out there!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel slightly embarrassed to admit that I have a similar interest in Mr. Bundy. I recently came across your site(love it!) after this weird fascination with him hit me when I watched “Ted Bundy: Mind of a Monster” a few months ago on the ID channel. I always knew about him but never made an effort to focus on just him when it comes to my obsession with true crime, psychology, forensic psychology & studying human behavior. Seeing that show, though, it hook, line & sinkered me towards this horrendous man.
    It’s nice to see others in the same boat and I love how honest you are about being aware of how it isn’t particularly healthy when it comes to being more than fascinated with him. Yet you’re also aware that he was a horrible guy, too. You own it gracefully. My friends & family don’t know, and if they catch me reading a book on him, they just pass it as my ‘serial killer behavior’ interest.
    Thank you for being so open & a great resource for us, esp those that are too meek & shy.

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    1. Wow Cassandra, thank you so much for your fantastic feedback! Part of the reason I began this site was because I was shamed on a so-called “True Crime Site” for favoring Ted over various other killers. When I started writing, I only knew I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas with others who understood my interest. Over 10 years later, I’m still finding new takes and angles to analyze when researching Bundy.

      I’m also glad that you know you’re not alone in your fascination! I think if we keep our perspective realistic and stay away from the drama and hype, we’re better able to see Bundy for the complicated disaster he really was. Please keep reading and feel free to post to the site or reach out to me on Twitter: @rosedysfunction.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. *I’m so sorry my response was late! I don’t mean to give any excuses but May was a month that would’ve been a mad man’s wet dream.*

        I hate that you were shamed for this, especially by others with a love for True Crime. I can’t fully understand their rationality with that kind of hypocrisy.

        You nailed it with everything about what to stay away from. Especially not focusing on the hype & drama. I see comments on YouTube videos of Ted that are juvenile. They definitely add to the hype & drama. So I try to stay away from reading the comments. (It’s hard to avoid wanting to correct them. I’m glad I don’t, because there ensues the drama.)

        Thank you for your response! I don’t have a Twitter but I do have a facebook! I generally repost my posts I make from Instagram so i visit FB often. I’ll def contact you on FB if I have any curiosity’s on Ted that I’m not familiar with. 🙂

        xx

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