My Relationship with Ted Bundy

I’m involved in an abusive relationship with a dead man. Metaphorically-speaking, of course. I am constantly thinking about, imagining, and reading about a violent serial killer. His ice blue eyes and wavy brown hair call forth feelings of both compassion and revulsion. I am both drawn to and repelled from this handsome charmer, moonlighting as a bloodthirsty necrophile. Ambivalence lingers as I contemplate the dirty deeds of Theodore Robert Bundy, even twenty-eight years since his execution in Florida’s electric chair at age 42.

Bundy Smile.jpg
What a smile!

As if we were lovers, my thoughts often turn to him as I imagine the things we share in common. We both grew up in the Methodist church, were involved in scouting activities, and we were withdrawn and shy in high school. Despite being raised on the opposite sides of the country (he in Washington state and me in North Carolina), I’ve always felt a connection to Ted’s family upbringing and working class family. His mother clearly loved him, as did mine, and his siblings looked up to him.

As the eldest children in our families, we both understood the pressure placed on us. The first child always feels they’re treated as a guinea pig as their parents learn what boundaries to put on them. Parents always give only so much rope to test the waters in those early years. However, when Ted was sneaking out and peeping in his neighbor’s windows as a teenager, I was happily tucked in my bed at night. The thought of violence towards another individual couldn’t have been further away from my mind.

Conversely, the time I spend imagining how Bundy would have related to certain events and where he buried the still-missing bodies of so many women, it takes its toll on other relationships in my life. My husband notices when I seem far away and friends can tell when I’m less than involved in our conversations. Some people distance themselves when they hear about my interest in serial killers, and Bundy specifically. Explaining his acts of depravity and unsavory proclivities discourage some acquaintances from getting to know me better. Even when I am determined to envelope myself completely in social interactions, my mind drifts back to the memory of a certain cold stare in Ted’s interview with Dr. James Dobson.

Bundy Dobson
January 23, 1989: The day before his execution

Despite being averse to everything he did, including the political party he joined as a teenager, I am still drawn to the image of Bundy as a smart, driven law student with a quick wit and one-hundred watt smile. The relationship I have with this long deceased man is dysfunctional at best and morbid at worst, though I don’t see it ending any time soon. He will continue to haunt me through the years to come, and his words and deeds will hold me in his thrall.

11 thoughts on “My Relationship with Ted Bundy

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  1. Ive been interested in Ted Bundy for years because I’ve always felt that the people who interviewed him were not asking the right questions and teds words were very deceptive mixed with halve truths, lies always to the end of making Himself out to be less of a monster than he really was

    Many books have been published about Ted
    But I always suspected what he did to this women the real Ted the one who was compulsively driven to act out his particular fantasies over and over whatever they specifically were was taken to his grave until …

    Rohonda Staply came forward a Ted Bundy 1974 victim that survived through shear strength of character and some luck

    We now have a pretty good idea what he said as he strangled them how he subdued them and the terrorizing went on for hours, manually choking them out to the brink of death than letting them recover only to do it again numerous times ,Rohonda said that he did this at least 5 or 6 times
    Interestingly it was the opposite of what Ted had said in his interviews that killing them was not the prime motivation
    it was and he made it up close and personal


    1. Thanks for your comment! I haven’t yet read Stapley’s book, but it will be interesting to see how she describes her ordeal, assuming it is true. I found Carol DaRonch’s details about her attempted kidnapping very insightful. We learned that Bundy was using a gun to subdue his victims when necessary. Stories from credible survivors really show us the killer’s motivation.


  2. HI E.J, Thank you for sharing your feelings and emotions with sincerity, Ted Bundy is a taboo subject for many people especially for us as women who are aware of this very delicate subject.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel slightly embarrassed to admit that I have a similar interest in Mr. Bundy. I recently came across your site(love it!) after this weird fascination with him hit me when I watched “Ted Bundy: Mind of a Monster” a few months ago on the ID channel. I always knew about him but never made an effort to focus on just him when it comes to my obsession with true crime, psychology, forensic psychology & studying human behavior. Seeing that show, though, it hook, line & sinkered me towards this horrendous man.
    It’s nice to see others in the same boat and I love how honest you are about being aware of how it isn’t particularly healthy when it comes to being more than fascinated with him. Yet you’re also aware that he was a horrible guy, too. You own it gracefully. My friends & family don’t know, and if they catch me reading a book on him, they just pass it as my ‘serial killer behavior’ interest.
    Thank you for being so open & a great resource for us, esp those that are too meek & shy.


    1. Wow Cassandra, thank you so much for your fantastic feedback! Part of the reason I began this site was because I was shamed on a so-called “True Crime Site” for favoring Ted over various other killers. When I started writing, I only knew I wanted to share my thoughts and ideas with others who understood my interest. Over 10 years later, I’m still finding new takes and angles to analyze when researching Bundy.

      I’m also glad that you know you’re not alone in your fascination! I think if we keep our perspective realistic and stay away from the drama and hype, we’re better able to see Bundy for the complicated disaster he really was. Please keep reading and feel free to post to the site or reach out to me on Twitter: @rosedysfunction.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. *I’m so sorry my response was late! I don’t mean to give any excuses but May was a month that would’ve been a mad man’s wet dream.*

        I hate that you were shamed for this, especially by others with a love for True Crime. I can’t fully understand their rationality with that kind of hypocrisy.

        You nailed it with everything about what to stay away from. Especially not focusing on the hype & drama. I see comments on YouTube videos of Ted that are juvenile. They definitely add to the hype & drama. So I try to stay away from reading the comments. (It’s hard to avoid wanting to correct them. I’m glad I don’t, because there ensues the drama.)

        Thank you for your response! I don’t have a Twitter but I do have a facebook! I generally repost my posts I make from Instagram so i visit FB often. I’ll def contact you on FB if I have any curiosity’s on Ted that I’m not familiar with. 🙂



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